pleasured by whom

"There is a pleasure in philosophy, and a lure even in the mirages of metaphysics, which every student feels until the coarse necessities of physical existence drag him from the heights of thought into the mart of economic strife and gain. Most of us have known some golden days in the June of life when philosophy was in fact what Plato calls it, 'that dear delight'; when the love of modestly elusive Truth seemed more glorious, incomparably, than the lust for the ways of the flesh and the dross of the world. And there is always some wistful remnant in us of that early wooing of wisdom. 'life has meaning,' we feel with Browning--'to find its meaning is my meat and drink.' So much of our lives is meaningless, a self-cancelling vacillation and futility; we strive with the chaos about us and within; but we would believe all the while that there is something vital and significant in us, could we but decipher our own souls. We want to understand; 'life means for us constantly to transform into light and flame all that we are or meet with'; we are like Mitya in The Brother Karamazov--'one of those who don't want millions, but an answer to their questions'; we want to seize the value and perspective of passing things, and so to pull ourselves up out of the maelstrom of daily circumstance. We want to know the little things are little, and the big things big, before it is too late; we want to see things now as they will seem forever--'in the light of eternity.' We want to learn to laugh in the face of the inevitable, to smile even at the looming of death. We want to be whole, to coordinate our energies by criticizing and harmonizing our desires; for coordinated energy is the last word in ethics and politics, and perhaps in logic and metaphysics too. 'To be a philosopher,' said Thoreau, 'is not merely to have subtle thoughts, nor even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live, according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust.' We may be sure that if we can but find wisdom, all things else will be added unto us. 'Seek ye first the good things of the mind,' Bacon admonishes us, 'and the rest will either be supplied or its loss will not be felt.' Truth will not make us rich, but it will make us free." - Will Durant in The Story of Philosophy

"I think there is no suffering greater than what is caused by the doubts of those who want to believe. I know what torment this is, but I can only see it, in myself anyway, as the process by which faith is deepened... What people don't realize is how much religion costs. They think faith is a big electric blanket, when of course it is a cross... You arrive at enough certainty to be able to make your way, but it is making it in darkness. Don't expect faith to clear things up for you. It is trust, not certainty." - Flannery O'Connor

Both these paragraph are quoted in full to hopefully splash more than a little water from the ocean of truth onto you. I do not quote them to endorse everything written in them. Both of these writers wanted to point at something that they saw from afar. Jesus said that even Abraham "rejoiced to see [his] day," though he saw it only by way of a hopeful excitement that comes from understanding a clear promise. Will Durant writes in another place: "when genius speaks to us we feel a ghostly reminiscence of having ourselves, in our distant youth, had vaguely this self-same thought which genius now speaks, but which we had not art or courage to clothe with form and utterance." This is the beginning of healthy admiration. It is the far from verbal feeling you might have when you see a elderly couple walk hand-in-hand under the quiet repose of a spreading spring sky. I believe it is their bravery we admire. Seeing their "togetherness" we admire it because of the sure assumption that they have through enduring love and faithfulness won the ability to understand and appreciate each other. What keeps us so long only testing the waters of truth with our toes? Why do we not jump in and be immersed in everything true, feeling the press of pure reality on every part of our being? Durant, Bacon, and the others quoted are helpful travel guides, but are limited where everyone, without exception, is limited in understanding the "infinity within and the infinity without" (Pascal). It is revealed in the text that both Durant and Bacon misquote, Matthew 6:33, "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Durant and Bacon are still playing the philosophers game of Marco Polo when the text speaks clearly concerning not just the "what" but "WHOM" we must seek. We hide behind the most beautiful words and courageous expressions. You may think that this is limiting. Perhaps you are at the point of thinking the whole blasted thing is limiting--philosophy, the mind, Christianity, me, yourself. If I where to tell you that the whole law and prophets could be summed up in two commands, loving God and man, then you would be skeptical. It is the answer that a child could give. Where is the wisdom and genius in that? The game of mocking begins. "if you are the Christ, then come down from the cross," was the favorite of those who watched a defeated man perish. Under the current pressure of health care reform, economic depression, and the coming of spring how can how is it not pithy or limiting to say "Seek first God." How is this important when you may be jobless, heartless, homeless, hurting? On top of that Flannery O'Connor adds that you should by no means "expect faith to clear things up for you." There is a yes and no to her statement. It is correct that faith will not give what the self-absorbed individual what they want, which is complete control of the present and understanding of future events. If this is what you are expecting than faith will most certainly seem narrow and uneventful to you. I say, narrow me down and confine me to the love of Christ! I love wisdom--that fleet fox chased through the ages by the ever pursuing hounds of philosophy--in all her proverbial glory. But understand that all men alike have great unexplainable deafness to her constant call (Proverbs says that she "calls aloud in the streets"). The limit of mind is not due to build-up of greenhouse gases or the way we were treated in our childhood, but because our spirits are blind and have lost all attachment to Home. We are in the sad place that we do not understand our own longings. The philosopher and scientist apart from grace will always distrust God because of this, like a lost child distrusts every approach. We are trained in the art of distrust. The most wonderful arguments that are beating back the ranks of militant "New Atheist" of our day will never substitute for the handful of dirt and spittle that Jesus used to open the eyes of the blind man. Even while we can point to a miraculous, singular beginning to the universe that produced strategic and irreplaceable natural laws allowing life to thrive on planet earth, we can never by these same means explain the wonder, excellence, and vulnerability of tender love. Confine me to Christ! Faith in the Father, seeking His kingdom first, feeds our sense of wonder, because we are not just discovering more about a "what" or an "it" but the knowable WHOM who sits enthroned above it all; through whom, for whom, and by whom all things were created and find the meaning for their existence. Jump in!