parade of hearts

Tonight the Coffee Oasis (the launching pad for Hope in Christ Ministries) hosted an open mic night for people to showcase their abilities and inspirations. The majority of the performers came from a writers workshop that Erica Steele mothers each week. This is my second one. Both times I have left with the same conclusion: Erica is doing an incredible job. It is strange, even to write about it fills me with a emotion. You see, most of the girls that come are part of a large group of lesbians that have come to consider the coffee shop there safe haven. As Erica takes the girls through fun and artful activities she loves them and cries with them and laughs with them. When they get up to share she yells and cheers for them. Whenever they are doing well she prays without speaking for them and when they have had enough of their own lives she prays aloud with them. Once a week these girls are allowed to be girls. Every month these girls write with an eye towards sharing their work at the open mic. Between every title and sentence read I heard the same stories recounted in many different terms: "Why did I fall in love with a jerk", "happiness always leads to heartache", "the pain will never leave", "why did you treat me so bad?" "Why?" Then one of our own boys took the stage and responded with every lifting refrain of the hymn that releases itself in the beginning with, "o love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee...." I do not know if you understand the fullness of the hope that is in you, because even after the parade of hearts that I witnessed tonight I do not exalt as I should in the difference between life and death, light and dark, heaven and hell, the love of God and loneliness. Please pray for your own personal joy in receiving all that is in Christ and for spiritual breakthrough in the lives of these girls. Please pray to for Erica's encouragement.

nowhere else to go

"You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve.
Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."
- John 6:67-68

I know where I am supposed to be--Bremerton. It is not necessary that I am perfect at what I do here (though I do strive for perfection). Thankfully my place under the covering of the Almighty does not depend on my performance at His work; instead, it is by His work that I am secured therein. It is taking awhile for me to accept the full wonder of the fact that the first and foremost reason that I am in Bremerton is because God has plans for me here. By grace and through faith I will learn. Yesterday (as my mercy post well represented) I felt terrible at all that I was called here to do. I was awed by the immediate and reassuring answer of God when I asked within my heart, "Is it really here that you want me?" There was no hesitation the response, and surprisingly my heart did not flinch at the "yes" verdict. You see, no matter what painful shaping God has to do in me here I pray that I become more a man after His own heart. That is all I want now. That is the beginning and end to my life. With all the praying and checking of my heart that went on before I pushed off from the port of Denver in my boxy Subaru Forester for destination Bremerton I saw much that could be improved in "the Church." God, I believe, saw more that that. He saw things in me that needed improvement. We NEVER reach a level where we are merely givers alongside of Christ. I was not coming with a basket of revelations and dreams to bless the Church. God had much more in me. He Himself would bless the Church AND me. "[God] is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else." (Acts 17:25) Rejoice with me that we are the same, fellow heirs in Christ and because of Christ. Let us never run ahead and try to live beyond this glorious truth.

George Hunter

“No thoughtful person can fail to recognize the fact that each generation produces a few men and women of such outstanding personality that they come into life seemingly, as did Melchizedek, without father and mother and without family. They stand somewhat aloof from their generation and no one thinks of them in connection with a human background, but only as isolated individuals who, called to a certain order of service, have no rest of mind until they have accomplished the task which was set before them, and who pass out of this world with few to mourn their loss and none to whom their going seems to cause acute pain. Their instinct was to keep free of human ties and to be under the control of none save that inner voice which has been the arbiter of their destiny.”
- “George Hunter: Apostle of Turkestan” by Mildred Cable & Francesca French

Mercy!

"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." - Matthew 5:7

Today I had a sad exposing of my own merciless nature. I am the one quick to judge. If we are to be ripe fruit to be picked by God, we must bask long in the direct radiance of the Son of God, letting ourselves be effected by the longstanding rays of His Glory on our innermost parts. The very core heat of His presence is the pervasive affirmation that we are co-heirs of eternity with Him, because, and only because, of Him. I have never thought of myself as the parabled servant who took advantage of mercy to condemn others with the same terrifying expectations that I had once despised. But that is me. I have viewed questioning criticism as a means to an end that I desired to see. No miracles needed, just pragmatic discussion and white-washed gossip. These are joy stealers and Body breakers. Father, forgive me and heal the wounds that I have carelessly caused. Without the loving expression of mercy in our lives we will never understand purity of heart. Pity the merciless person for they will never understand the full expression of love. Mercy speaks, "you are beautiful and full of potential, because Christ loved and gave himself for you. " (Galatians 2:20) Go and do likewise.

in the rearview mirror

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the lords, who is Spirit." 2 Cor. 3:17-18

Each morning crossing the Warren Ave. bridge I get to see heaven meeting earth over-top the Olympic Mt. range, which appears as a brief and brilliant unveiling of God's glory. It forces a daily reminder: "What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care?" (Ps. 8) Thank you, Jesus, for not waiting for my doubting response. In material comparison with the largeness of the mountain or the vastness of the galaxies or the length of the river or the power of a grizzly I am inadequate and inconsequential. We are exalted only by our relationship to God. God exalts us. Being made in His image for relationship with Him is the beginning to our worth.

I regret not having the time tonight to share with you the words and whispers I have heard from God and his people this past week through the Spiritual Hunger Conference 08', Montana-Rama 3rd with my boys from SOMA, Fight Club with the Coffee-O gang, Tuesday prayer, the worship seminar at Seaside Church, and the preliminary elders meeting with Pat, Rocky, and my father. It is only grace that these meetings have not added onto me needless standards and anxiety from imaginary, unmet responsibilities. I think my soul is beginning to feel the true freedom of true grace. That whenever I look to God he says, "I accept you." Ha! That is the sweet sound of grace.

In the past 4 days 4 new people have moved into my parents house, adding to the previous 2, making the total 6. Tonight as I entered the kitchen after dusk to make myself a late night PB&J I was cornered by a new member of the ever-growing household. Here is the kitchen story: a young women being found by Jesus after years of living through drug-numbed emotions and an empty spirit. Now she sings for him. O God, give more people reason to sing here in Bremerton. There remain so many lost, so many "out there." O God, please rescue...

First Glance

It has been my intention for over a month and a half to been begin writing out my experiences, not because of the worthiness of my own words or cherishable cleverness of any of the subsequential thoughts, rather, it is because God is worthy. Worthy for even my small story to be told in honor of His faithfulness and love. It is my hope that these posts will soon tell of the explosive work of God in Bremerton. In writing it is my desire to use the opportunity to once again personally enjoy remembering the work and the intimacy of God that I have both experienced and seen around me, and to also to give any reader the opportunity to enjoy the sight.