"I believe like a child that suffering will be healed and made up for, that all the humiliating absurdity of human contradictions will vanish like a pitiful mirage, like the despicable fabrication of the impotent and infinitely small Euclidean mind of man, that in the world's finale, at the moment of eternal harmony, something so precious will come to pass that it will suffice for all hearts, for the comforting of all resentments, for the atonement of all the crimes of humanity, of all the blood the blood that they've shed; that it will make it not only possible to forgive but to justify all that has happened." - Dostoevsky
A friend found out that she only has a certain number of years to live. Eternity makes a bold claim. Eternity claims all of us. All truth will there be told. And eternity will at that point not appear long enough to hear the words that come from the mouth that speaks only Truth. Paul writes, "if we only hope in this life, we are to be the most pitied men." Do not pity me. I believe that one day the sun that sets in this world will not rise. It will be replaced by Him who is light. All darkness will flee. There will be no need for metaphor or imagery. All will be real. The songs that we have only heard distant strains of, as if always coming from behind a far off hill, will erupt and be in full view. This future glory has not diminished my joy now or made me "otherworldly" in the pitiful definition of the term. I am only otherworldly in the extent that I really am otherworldly. One old writer wrote that physical hunger reveals that we are a race of people that repairs itself by eating. This does not guarantee that we will have food, but that we need it. Lewis called this his "inconsolable longing" or "joy." Joy is not always gratified, but it is the desire that lies in the deepest churning of our existence. Earth promises no completion, and in heaven we find consummation. Indeed what keeps my feet most firmly planted on this earthen surface is the anchoring "weight of glory" that only increases as the day approaches that all will be revealed. In Romans 8 we see all creation in expectations. Wait too. Be still, and know that He is God. Worship. This is our present joy and our eternal glory. "Worthy is the Lamb that was slain, to receive glory, honor, power, and praise forever!"
Spent the day in Bainbridge Island with a few friends today. Running in parks, eating beside the water, taking every advantage of a sunny Presidents Day. Applied for Fuller Theological Seminary (Northwest Campus). Cooked dinner for the parents. Prayer.
May the Lord bless you and keep you, and may He cause His face to shine upon you...
Monday, February 15, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
hope arrayed in hymnody
Rock of Ages, cleft for me, Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood, From Thy riven side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure, Cleanse me from its guilt and power.
Not the labours of my hands, Can fulfill Thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know, Could my tears for ever flow,
All for sin could not atone: Thou must save,
and Thou alone.
Nothing in my hand I bring, Simply to Thy Cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress; Helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly; Wash me, Saviour, or I die. - Augustus M. Toplady, 1740-1778
grace--timeless in nature, being in the very heart of God--was given to us right on time today in the form of a much needed grant from Boeing. Last month we had a month that "you cannot have too many of if you want to stay in business," as our fearly executive director said. As we expand the need only grows: people, funds, faith. "Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee."
I am in the process of planning a public forum with Campus Crusade for Christ and the Olympic College Atheist and Agnostic Club. If all goes as planned I will be sitting on a panel with one of the members of the Atheist and Agnostic Club answer three questions: 1) how did life begin? 2) what is the meaning of life? and 3) what is the fate of humanity? Please pray for strength, wisdom, and humility as we cohost the event with these school clubs and speak into a world that yells at God with plugged ears, upward shaking fist, and downcast eyes.
Let the water and the blood, From Thy riven side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure, Cleanse me from its guilt and power.
Not the labours of my hands, Can fulfill Thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know, Could my tears for ever flow,
All for sin could not atone: Thou must save,
and Thou alone.
Nothing in my hand I bring, Simply to Thy Cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress; Helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly; Wash me, Saviour, or I die. - Augustus M. Toplady, 1740-1778
grace--timeless in nature, being in the very heart of God--was given to us right on time today in the form of a much needed grant from Boeing. Last month we had a month that "you cannot have too many of if you want to stay in business," as our fearly executive director said. As we expand the need only grows: people, funds, faith. "Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee."
I am in the process of planning a public forum with Campus Crusade for Christ and the Olympic College Atheist and Agnostic Club. If all goes as planned I will be sitting on a panel with one of the members of the Atheist and Agnostic Club answer three questions: 1) how did life begin? 2) what is the meaning of life? and 3) what is the fate of humanity? Please pray for strength, wisdom, and humility as we cohost the event with these school clubs and speak into a world that yells at God with plugged ears, upward shaking fist, and downcast eyes.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
nephewed
Titus is going to have a brother. It is official that Rebekah and Brian are expecting another BOY. Danny and Ashley had their first last week.
Started reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and find her writing delightful.
Took a group of boys hiking today on the first monthly "Redeem Manhood Day." We hiked, plunged into a swimming hole beneath a cascading waterfall, and returned to my apartment for a breakfast of biscuits and gravy. "Blessed is the man who swears to his own hurt and does not change." Psalm 15.
Started reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and find her writing delightful.
Took a group of boys hiking today on the first monthly "Redeem Manhood Day." We hiked, plunged into a swimming hole beneath a cascading waterfall, and returned to my apartment for a breakfast of biscuits and gravy. "Blessed is the man who swears to his own hurt and does not change." Psalm 15.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
saved!
Tonight I watched the movie "Saved." It is not the spiritual heartwarmer that one might expect from the title. I enjoyed it like I might enjoy being slapped in the face--twice--for be uncaring and condescending. The movie was fictional, but carried a non-fiction tone. I do not advise watching the movie with kids, and be prepared to think, blush, and grieve. If you would like to talk more about the move you can email me @ dafrederick@gmail.com
You might ask why I watched the movie. I understand why someone would ask me that question. It is because I don't want to be fake. Life is to short to live unchallenged and safely kept within my own feelings. That is what faith is for many people--feelings and rules. It is not the foundation of the faith I have. It is also not the faith of the God of the Bible. What the movie pointed at and laughed at is what many rightly laugh at about Christians (i.e. the violent hand-raising, militant evangelism, and boring purity). If you read the New Testament Jesus is very different than the hollywood-styled churches of today. First of all people liked Jesus. People liked him at their parties. He did not follow the pattern of the religious folk, nor did he follow the pattern of the secular folk. He had a different set of rules. He "delighted to do the will of the Father." It was a relationship with God that he enjoyed as he walked on this earth. O this little earth, so loved by God. After watching this movie I realized how silly and trivial and offensive it can sound to people when I tell them that I will pray for them (this does not mean I will stop, though I might explain better in the future what it means). It is a tragedy when people hear they are being prayed for and they think "great...now I'm this guys project!" It is not like that at all. Neither is it a form of judgement. C.S. Lewis once said, "I do not pray because it changes God, only because it changes me." Admittedly there is more to it than that, however he is onto something special here. We need to be changed and when we go to God in prayer it is beseeching the help of one who is already filled with mercy. His heart does not need to be changed. Jesus did not die expecting that after you were saved you would never hurt him again. It is the beauty of the plan and price of salvation--He did it in full understanding of our present and future unworthiness. That is the Gospel: He makes us worthy to be called...children of God.
Do I think the movie was completely correct? No. Still, Christians must admit it hit a bulls-eye too many time for us to finish unashamed of how we have misrepresented the name of Jesus.
I spent the morning talking to a coalition of business women and the afternoon playing volleyball with kids at Discovery Alternative High School.
You might ask why I watched the movie. I understand why someone would ask me that question. It is because I don't want to be fake. Life is to short to live unchallenged and safely kept within my own feelings. That is what faith is for many people--feelings and rules. It is not the foundation of the faith I have. It is also not the faith of the God of the Bible. What the movie pointed at and laughed at is what many rightly laugh at about Christians (i.e. the violent hand-raising, militant evangelism, and boring purity). If you read the New Testament Jesus is very different than the hollywood-styled churches of today. First of all people liked Jesus. People liked him at their parties. He did not follow the pattern of the religious folk, nor did he follow the pattern of the secular folk. He had a different set of rules. He "delighted to do the will of the Father." It was a relationship with God that he enjoyed as he walked on this earth. O this little earth, so loved by God. After watching this movie I realized how silly and trivial and offensive it can sound to people when I tell them that I will pray for them (this does not mean I will stop, though I might explain better in the future what it means). It is a tragedy when people hear they are being prayed for and they think "great...now I'm this guys project!" It is not like that at all. Neither is it a form of judgement. C.S. Lewis once said, "I do not pray because it changes God, only because it changes me." Admittedly there is more to it than that, however he is onto something special here. We need to be changed and when we go to God in prayer it is beseeching the help of one who is already filled with mercy. His heart does not need to be changed. Jesus did not die expecting that after you were saved you would never hurt him again. It is the beauty of the plan and price of salvation--He did it in full understanding of our present and future unworthiness. That is the Gospel: He makes us worthy to be called...children of God.
Do I think the movie was completely correct? No. Still, Christians must admit it hit a bulls-eye too many time for us to finish unashamed of how we have misrepresented the name of Jesus.
I spent the morning talking to a coalition of business women and the afternoon playing volleyball with kids at Discovery Alternative High School.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
men
For the 13th birthday of his son CJ Mahaney asked some friends to write letters that would guide and encourage him as he approached manhood. Below is one of the letters. It is valuable to hear from older people who have given time to wisdom. Pray for me as I talk with guys daily about being men after the heart of God. Each Friday I am leading a study at the local college for a group of guys that could beat me in basketball. We get into Romans for an hour before my parking expires and I leave them looking shocked. God tells us incredible things and matches them with a promise. Pray that God will use our very lives to call faithful men.
Dear Chad,
I am honored that your Dad invited me to write you on the occasion of your 13th birthday.
I just had my 56th birthday before Christmas, but one thing I’ve learned in all those extra
years of living is that there’s not that much difference between being 13 and being 56. Of
course lots of particular details do change as we first grow up and then grow old (good
looks and athleticism are sure to go!). But the most basic and important things remain
exactly the same. What is always true becomes deeper, and richer, and more necessary,
and more joyous as your life continues to unfold.
There are many things I could mention to you, Chad, but let me say only two. They are
so important to remember, and so easy to forget.
First, don’t ever forget: God is merciful to you.
Mercy is who he is. “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow
to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34:6).
Mercy is what he does. “If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare
his own Son, but delivered him over for us all, how will he not also with him freely give
us all things?” (Romans 8:31-32).
Mercy is what you need. “Lord, hear my voice…If you, Lord, should mark
iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with you, that you may be
feared” (Psalm 130:3-4).
God’s mercy is not a theory, a bunch of words, or stories from a long time ago. It
is the reality upon which your life depends. Mercy is a reality that anchors you into the
life and death of Jesus Christ. He has come for us. He has come for you. You need help
from outside yourself. Ask for help.
A small child who is well-loved knows this intuitively: “I trust in my parents’
love. I ask for help when I need something. I delight that they take care of me!” That
experience gives a picture of your whole life, even as you grow more and more
independent of your earthly parents. You’ll need help from outside yourself for your
entire life – from God himself (and, in a secondary way, from wise people who can be his
instruments of good, including your parents). But often in growing up, young adults and
full adults forget this. They don’t want it to be so. In blind pride they think that they can
take care of themselves. It’s a tendency in all of us, our most grievous tendency, and a
lie. We need God’s many mercies. We always need our greater Father to take care of us.
Because he is merciful, you look outside of yourself. Be willing to need help and
to ask for help.
Don’t ever forget, Chad.
God himself will never forget to be merciful. He cannot forget and deny himself.
Second, don’t ever forget: your whole life will be a work-in-progress.
This is so freeing. Your successes and graces (and may God give you many ways
to shine, Chad) will never mean you’ve arrived. These are good gifts of mercy, to be
received gratefully. Don’t take good things for granted, or view them as a basis for
identity or self-congratulation. At the same time, your sins, failure and sufferings (and
such things will happen, and may be painfully discouraging) never mean that there is no
hope. These are the weaknesses that make you realize your actual need for the wise
mercies of Jesus. Your life will shine as you realize that God has given you this life as a
lifelong holy experiment in becoming what a human being is meant to become. “He who
began a good work in you will bring it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus”
(Philippians 1:6). That will be so for your entire life.
Here’s something else about this that is very important. The particular struggles
you’ll face are going to change throughout your life. You’ve already seen this. What you
face is different, being 13, from when you were 8 or 4. You’ll face still different
challenges at 16, or 26, or 56, from what you face right now. That’s exactly where God
works.
There will most likely be times – perhaps seasons of your life – when you
struggle with where to find your identity, or with feeling anxious, or with pride in your
gifts and achievements, or with holding resentment towards someone, or with wayward
sexual impulses, or with loneliness, or with grief at losing someone you love, or with
comparing yourself to others, or with feeling hurt when someone you trust betrays you.
You get the idea! There’s always something going on, because our Father is always
working on something in us. Everything you will ever face is important to God.
Everything can become an occasion for you to know him better, and to grow up as a man.
Don’t ever think that some part of life is outside his concern. Don’t ever think that
because you’ve grown in one area, there won’t be some new areas that your Father sets
about working on. He makes human beings (in his image). He saves human beings
(from all our sins and sufferings). He works in human beings (to teach us to love Him
and others). Jesus entered every part of human life. He will meet you in every part of
your life, for your whole life.
Don’t ever forget, Chad.
God himself will never forget to continue the good work he has begun in you.
Remember these things, Chad. Live them your whole life long. You will grow as a man
who is becoming what a human being is meant to be, a man after God’s own heart. May
our Lord’s face shine upon you. May you know that he is with you.
Your friend,
David Powlison
Dear Chad,
I am honored that your Dad invited me to write you on the occasion of your 13th birthday.
I just had my 56th birthday before Christmas, but one thing I’ve learned in all those extra
years of living is that there’s not that much difference between being 13 and being 56. Of
course lots of particular details do change as we first grow up and then grow old (good
looks and athleticism are sure to go!). But the most basic and important things remain
exactly the same. What is always true becomes deeper, and richer, and more necessary,
and more joyous as your life continues to unfold.
There are many things I could mention to you, Chad, but let me say only two. They are
so important to remember, and so easy to forget.
First, don’t ever forget: God is merciful to you.
Mercy is who he is. “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow
to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34:6).
Mercy is what he does. “If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare
his own Son, but delivered him over for us all, how will he not also with him freely give
us all things?” (Romans 8:31-32).
Mercy is what you need. “Lord, hear my voice…If you, Lord, should mark
iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with you, that you may be
feared” (Psalm 130:3-4).
God’s mercy is not a theory, a bunch of words, or stories from a long time ago. It
is the reality upon which your life depends. Mercy is a reality that anchors you into the
life and death of Jesus Christ. He has come for us. He has come for you. You need help
from outside yourself. Ask for help.
A small child who is well-loved knows this intuitively: “I trust in my parents’
love. I ask for help when I need something. I delight that they take care of me!” That
experience gives a picture of your whole life, even as you grow more and more
independent of your earthly parents. You’ll need help from outside yourself for your
entire life – from God himself (and, in a secondary way, from wise people who can be his
instruments of good, including your parents). But often in growing up, young adults and
full adults forget this. They don’t want it to be so. In blind pride they think that they can
take care of themselves. It’s a tendency in all of us, our most grievous tendency, and a
lie. We need God’s many mercies. We always need our greater Father to take care of us.
Because he is merciful, you look outside of yourself. Be willing to need help and
to ask for help.
Don’t ever forget, Chad.
God himself will never forget to be merciful. He cannot forget and deny himself.
Second, don’t ever forget: your whole life will be a work-in-progress.
This is so freeing. Your successes and graces (and may God give you many ways
to shine, Chad) will never mean you’ve arrived. These are good gifts of mercy, to be
received gratefully. Don’t take good things for granted, or view them as a basis for
identity or self-congratulation. At the same time, your sins, failure and sufferings (and
such things will happen, and may be painfully discouraging) never mean that there is no
hope. These are the weaknesses that make you realize your actual need for the wise
mercies of Jesus. Your life will shine as you realize that God has given you this life as a
lifelong holy experiment in becoming what a human being is meant to become. “He who
began a good work in you will bring it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus”
(Philippians 1:6). That will be so for your entire life.
Here’s something else about this that is very important. The particular struggles
you’ll face are going to change throughout your life. You’ve already seen this. What you
face is different, being 13, from when you were 8 or 4. You’ll face still different
challenges at 16, or 26, or 56, from what you face right now. That’s exactly where God
works.
There will most likely be times – perhaps seasons of your life – when you
struggle with where to find your identity, or with feeling anxious, or with pride in your
gifts and achievements, or with holding resentment towards someone, or with wayward
sexual impulses, or with loneliness, or with grief at losing someone you love, or with
comparing yourself to others, or with feeling hurt when someone you trust betrays you.
You get the idea! There’s always something going on, because our Father is always
working on something in us. Everything you will ever face is important to God.
Everything can become an occasion for you to know him better, and to grow up as a man.
Don’t ever think that some part of life is outside his concern. Don’t ever think that
because you’ve grown in one area, there won’t be some new areas that your Father sets
about working on. He makes human beings (in his image). He saves human beings
(from all our sins and sufferings). He works in human beings (to teach us to love Him
and others). Jesus entered every part of human life. He will meet you in every part of
your life, for your whole life.
Don’t ever forget, Chad.
God himself will never forget to continue the good work he has begun in you.
Remember these things, Chad. Live them your whole life long. You will grow as a man
who is becoming what a human being is meant to be, a man after God’s own heart. May
our Lord’s face shine upon you. May you know that he is with you.
Your friend,
David Powlison
Monday, January 25, 2010
still in a fury
The week ahead will be flurry I can already tell. Tonight to plant my nose squarely in a few books I need to study I went to a coffee shop near my house. Little did I know that there would be a piano player that specialized in energetic soul music. He was also very effeminate. I only point this out to lead into the part of the story when he dedicated the song to me "You Are So Beautiful." This was only because I was jabbing him about playing a boy band song without back-up dancers. Needless to say, very little studying occurred and the night now wears again its familiar path on towards the morning.
Captivated by peace lately.
Pray for the ministry staff of the Oasis as we look towards a summit meeting where we standardize our intake, education, and encouragement of volunteers.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
responding to one
I have to apologize for how few and far between my writing has been. I will try to write more. The last few weeks have been enjoyable. I had the opportunity to speak to the faculty of a local alternative school and there is an exciting openness to having us be involved on there campus. Despite a coarse feeling in my throat (the feel of impending sickness!) I am feeling stronger phsyically and spiritually than I have in a long time. I am finding myself enjoying friendships in my life with the sort of deep-seated satisfaction that you would expect to have in old age. I am also realizing that the gospel is such a greater story than my own. But I am not lost in it; rather, it includes me. A writer once warned of responding to the "call of a lover less wild." O the tough and pleasant wonders of learning to respond only to one lover and thereby letting all others fade away.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
on the shelves
"If you cannot read all your books, at any rate peer into them...set them back on the shelves with your own hands, arrange them on your own plan so that you at least know where they are. Let them be your friends; let them be your acquantances." - Winston Churchill
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
how did you begin?
I met with a man for lunch who asked me to speak at his church. He had a thin white mustache and asked questions to make sure that I believed in Unconditional Election. He knew my grandfather, my dad's dad, who I never met because he had died before I was born. My grandfather was a man who straightened his hair because it was so outrageously curly and preached an unwavering gospel from the pulpit of a church that he built from rough-cut timber. As the conversation got to a meandering start I asked him how he got into "the ministry."
"Well, the first time I asked my wife on a date," came the unexpected start, "She had come into the bank where I was working and I thought she was so pretty that I got her name of the deposit slip and called her. She didn't sound interested in beer, but agreed on cup of coffee. So we went out. On that first date she told me I was going to hell. Ha! She was a real prune. But I guess I was too. So we got married. After noncommittally attending church for awhile I said a quiet prayer that the pastor recited every Sunday. I didn't expect anything to happen, but all of the sudden it did...I have been in full time ministry for over 40 years."
On the subject: my roommate is going on a blind date on Thursday to a restaurant. I think it is funny, but am very proud of him for making the call. I have prepared him with questions and I think he is ready! Ha! In all honesty I have been finding acres of joy in the deepening friendship between my roommates and I. Often in our lives we feel that we must compartmentalize laughing and praying--which is pure poppycock--our apartment has been full of both. The apartment has become a veritable green pasture, with the Puget Sound as my still waters and the Olympic Mountains a small reminder of Zion's grandeur. Zack, Nate, and I hunted our limit of clams last week and are having a informal clam bake tomorrow for dinner and all are welcome to join.
Friday we began to pass out the 200 Coffee Oasis hoodies that we received from Hos Bros. for Christmas. They have been very popular and now you can see kids walking all around the city sporting the same branded sweatshirt.
"Well, the first time I asked my wife on a date," came the unexpected start, "She had come into the bank where I was working and I thought she was so pretty that I got her name of the deposit slip and called her. She didn't sound interested in beer, but agreed on cup of coffee. So we went out. On that first date she told me I was going to hell. Ha! She was a real prune. But I guess I was too. So we got married. After noncommittally attending church for awhile I said a quiet prayer that the pastor recited every Sunday. I didn't expect anything to happen, but all of the sudden it did...I have been in full time ministry for over 40 years."
On the subject: my roommate is going on a blind date on Thursday to a restaurant. I think it is funny, but am very proud of him for making the call. I have prepared him with questions and I think he is ready! Ha! In all honesty I have been finding acres of joy in the deepening friendship between my roommates and I. Often in our lives we feel that we must compartmentalize laughing and praying--which is pure poppycock--our apartment has been full of both. The apartment has become a veritable green pasture, with the Puget Sound as my still waters and the Olympic Mountains a small reminder of Zion's grandeur. Zack, Nate, and I hunted our limit of clams last week and are having a informal clam bake tomorrow for dinner and all are welcome to join.
Friday we began to pass out the 200 Coffee Oasis hoodies that we received from Hos Bros. for Christmas. They have been very popular and now you can see kids walking all around the city sporting the same branded sweatshirt.
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