Monday, March 30, 2009

growing trust for an exploring heart

"The Christmas message is that there is hope for a ruined humanity--hope of pardon, hope of peace with God, hope of glory--because at the Father's will Jesus Christ became poor, and was born in a stable so that thirty years later He might hang on a cross. It is the most wonderful message that the world has ever heard, or will hear." - J.I. Packer

Other than what most people think, I really am not a good student. I admire good students and want to be among there disciplined society, but am not (yet!). The majority of my branches require major pruning and my hope often takes misdirection from the winds of emotions. "It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all" (1 Timothy 1:15). There was something I was not prepared for when I met Christ. I did not see that I needed to be taught everything (which has been much my continual humbling). Questions about the trinity and the life of Jesus and relationships with people were explained by fuzzy characters on picture boards before I could puzzle over their real lives myself. Daily I am finding new mountains at the edges of my little 100-acre woods. They are terrific in heights, and I realize that my view is different than that on the top. For example, I do not appreciate enough my need of the Holy Spirit in my life--my dependence. Between John 16 and 1 Corinthians 2 the Holy Spirit is the one who convinces the world of sin and righteousness and judgement and makes scripture alive and powerful to us. We see Jesus as beautiful, because the Spirit explains Him to us. I also have not appreciate the relationship between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as I should. To be honest it can even bother my natural perspective. Jesus does what the Father sends him to do and the Holy Spirit does what the Father and Jesus ask. I cringe. Doesn't Jesus have his own opinion? I even get selfish for him. Doesn't the Holy Spirit get to choose or get a vacation from the demands of the Father and Son? I am so used to seeing the degrading relationships in the world function that it is hard to appreciate the beauty of righteousness and relationships that are actually corresponding and perfect. There is no fear within the Trinity. They are One God, perfectly united in will. Jesus said, "it is my food and delight to do the will of the Father." And the Spirit cause the vulnerable heart, filled with the honey dew meat of scripture to sing praise to the Father and Son. When the Father spectacularly and openly shares his affection for his Son, "this is my Son!," it is like watching a shared complement (as in the Derek Webb song, "I went into the water, my Father he was pleased..."). Instead I think that I have often seen the world and have found myself to be fairly educated on how it should work. And then I hit a wall or break a leg (ha! not always figuratively). In all honesty I can tell you that I have found the Bible to be better and truer than the best that I can come up with, but still my heart tells me to listen to the plagues that still land in passing swarms over my heart. The temptation then begins: I have heard that (what is the Bible) before. Yes! Ihave heard it, but am not appreciating it. I pour the water on the ground. And so I like my own thoughts better, and think of them more highly (even the doubts). How many have claimed to be in love and think only small and distant thoughts of the the object of their admiration? Listen to the words of God when you lie down and when you wake up. Pursue them like the rich reward they are. Mine deep into the quarries of the Word. David said, "Where can I go to meet with God?" Where can I go, God? It is true in vineyards that the best grapes are the first pick that struggled to survive during the winter. Oh Lord, let our lives be like the enduring wine with unmistakable taste! Let our lives be evidence that we explored and appreciated You, seeing that You are worth our boldest effort and most constant thought. I think it is true, or at least am learning, that there is much more yet to be discovered and proceeding requires trusting God.

No comments: