sing to your beloved

It would be a better thing for any church, whether "emerging" or "traditional," to have a humble , tone-deaf keyboardist playing harp sounds, than to have a brash and flashy band playing sweet riffs on a stage build upon their own ego's. We always hear the disclaimers that dictate our expressions on how church and the christian life should be; such as, "well, it's not like we will ever be perfect" or "God created us to be creative and talented so bad singing does not bless the congregation." I hear with sad frequency people talking about their own offerings or place before God. Have we forgotten the sound of the Shepherd's voice? I want to know what it is like to bow before a King. Tremble and pray, O soul, who has neither the fear nor awe that accompanies true honor. The King is all and in all, and in His presence all cry, "Glory" (Psalm 29). O for tears to express the pain that there are so many Christians in the court of the King that have not taken there eyes of themselves to look at Christ. To steady our gaze on Christ is to feel an erupting, completing sensation remains indescribable even for the partaker. There is no thought of self in the place of His presence. There is only Him. One missionary is recorded as writing to another: "with every one look at self, we must take ten long looks at Christ." I want to know the way that is beyond talking about what we/I take and give. It is the way of the humble and contrite heart that God surely does not despise (Isaiah 57). It is a completely different mentality. For lack of a better word: it is natural. The war within us for obtaining and maintaining stops when we surrender to God completely. It is how Paul could see himself as a man without a reputation. Some may have heard me quote from Andrew Murray: "There is nothing more natural and beautiful and blessed than to be nothing so that God might be all." That is exactly the pure and noble and lovely things that we are to think on again and again (Phillipians 4). Here is the act and outcome of how we usually go about using the gifts and talents God has given us: Moses as the prince of Egypt. While he was known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter he went out to start a coup and ended up getting kicked out of Egypt. I am sure that his traveling thoughts, marching towards indefinite exile, were, "But Lord, I was delivering your people." He was ready and willing. He had a lot to offer Israel. By the time he returned again he had nothing and was unwilling. He couldn't even play the tambourine. "Why don't You send Aaron?" Was his question to God. Do you see the difference. The second time he was following God. His language was different (and it is my fear that our language sounds more like the prince of Egypt than the nomadic shepherd who had wandered with God and found himself wanting). How many have forgotten that few find the road that road leading to Zion's jeweled gates? There are many on the road of personal offerings and there reward will be one of rust and tinder. Remember, even Cain brought an offering, but only Abel's was accepted. Look around you, there are many talented people. The truth is that the individual leading "worship" at a church and doing it out of desire to "use his talents" is just as unacceptable in the sight of as the headman of a scummy bar band who only plays for the free beer. God looks at the heart, not the ability. Many years ago I heard a song that has since become a theme, it goes: "all I ever have to be is what you made me / any more or less would be a step out of your plan / as you daily recreate me help me always keep in mind / that all I ever have to be is what you made me." It remind me of the love-struck exclamation of the bride in Song of Solomon, " I am my Beloveds, and His desire is for me." It is the full humbling vulnerability of true love. She is lost in desire for the one on her mind and in her heart. She doesn't talk about herself at all. All attention is on the one that she loves, and that is the life of a true Christian--lovestruck.